Dumb Jokes — worst jokes

Did you hear about the blonde that...

• Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
• Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years".
• Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
• When asked what the capital of California was answered "C".
• Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
• After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel.

- I hear sirens. Jump! said the first one.

- But we're on the 13th floor! said the second one.

- This is no time to be superstitious, the first one screamed back.

Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?
→ He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.

Did you hear about the blonde who took a book out of the library called "How to Hug", only to discover that it was volume seven of the encyclopedia?

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. So, instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

A blonde went in the library and walked up to the librarian behind the desk and said, "I would like a cheeseburger."

The librarian replied, "Shh! This is a library!"

The blonde blushed. "oh, sorry.." then she whispered, "I would like a cheeseburger."

Why can't the blonde put in a light bulb?
→ She kept breaking them with the hammer.

A blonde wanted to sell her old car, but nobody wished to buy a car with 250,000 miles on it. So, she tells her brunette girlfriend at the salon about her problem, and the brunette suggests she take the car to a mechanic friend of hers, who will turn the meter back by 200,000 miles. The blonde thinks this is a sound suggestion and does so.

About a month later, the brunette sees her blonde girlfriend in a store and says, "Did you ever sell your car?"

"No," says the blonde. "Why should I? It's only got 50,000 miles on it."

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and asks, "Where?"

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.

- Help, help! yells one of the blondes.

- Help us, help us! yells the other.

- Maybe it would help if we yelled together, said the first blonde.

- Good idea, said the other.

- Together, together!