Random joke from this category
After an accident, a woman stepped forward and prepared to help the victim. She was asked to step aside by a man who announced:
- Step back please! I've had a course in first aid and I'm trained in CPR.
The woman watched his procedures for a few moments, then tapped him on the shoulder.
- When you get to the part about calling a doctor - she said.
- I'm already here!
At a major medical convention, a noted internist arises to announce that he has discovered a new miracle antibiotic.
- What's it cure? - asks a member of the audience.
- Nothing we don't already have a drug for - the internist replies.
- Well, what's so miraculous about it?
- One of the side effects is short-term memory loss. Several of my patients have paid my bill three or four times!
A man is talking to the family doctor:
- Doc, I think my wife's going deaf.
The doctor answers:
- Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is.
The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says:
- Honey, what's for dinner?
He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.
- Honey, what's for dinner?
Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her.
Finally, she answers:
- For the eleventh time, I said we're having MEATLOAF!
One woman says to another:
- I can't understand why you haven't gone to see that new gynecologist yet! I mean he's so young and handsome! And your gynecologist is so old!
The other woman replies with a smile:
- Yeah, I know. His hands shake all the time!
If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash knees, what do gynecologists get?
→ Tunnel vision!
A young doctor just out of medical school announced to his wife that he planned to specialize in gynecology.
When she asked him why he chose gynecology, he said simply:
- There's lots of openings!
The brash young gynecologist, fresh out of medical school, took one look at his voluptuous new patient and abandoned his professional ethics entirely. As he stroked the supple skin of her naked body, he asked:
- Do you understand what I am doing?
- Yes - the patient answered.
- You're checking for dermatological abrasions.
- Correct - the doctor lied.
Next, he fondled her breasts long and lovingly. Again, he inquired:
- Do you understand what I am doing?
- You're feeling for cancerous lumps - she ventured.
- Very astute - the doctor complimented, getting more excited.
He placed the woman's feet in stirrups, dropped his pants, and slipped his member inside her.
And do you understand what I am doing now?
- All too well - the patient shot back.
- You're contracting herpes!
What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
→ One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What do you call a geriatric gynecologist?
→ A spreader of old wives' tales!
I recently attended a meeting of the International Singles Club here in Silicon Valley. I met a Chinese woman who was a dentist.
She had perfect teeth, which started me thinking: All dentists from all cultures apparently have perfect teeth.
So, I am looking for a gynecologist for my next girlfriend!
