Random joke from this category
A couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having a little chat. "How are you, Tom?" asked Marvin.
"I'm not feeling well today - utterly exhausted," Tom replied. "I pulled a muscle and it's killing me."
"That pulled muscle shouldn't make you so tired, though."
"Well, it does if you pull it a couple of hundred times...."
What do jello and a woman have in common?
→ They both wiggle when you eat them.
A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South.
He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. After riding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said, "Well, aren't you going to ask me?"
- Ask you what?
- If I'm a boy or a girl.
- Don't matter. Gonna fuck ya anyway.
A guest from some foreign country was bragging that in HIS country there is 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.
Ray listened patiently.
- That's amazing. Where I come from there's really only one.
"Oh," sniffed the Romeo, "just one? And which way is that?"
- Well, there's a man and there's a woman . . .
"Praise Allah!!! Number 80!!!"
A blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts giving him a blowjob.
- Excuse me, aren't you Karen Carlton, and didn't you go to Cardozo High School in Detroit?
- Yes. How'd you know?
- I never forget a face.
Whats long, hard and full of semen??
→ A submarine.
A beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money. On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five fingers.
"Oh darling!" she squeals with delight, "Does that mean five times?"
"No", says the old fellow, "it means that you can pick one out."
How does a yuppie couple perform doggie-style sex?
→ He sits up and begs and she lies down and plays dead.
How do you piss your girlfriend of when your having sex?
→ Call her up
What a rip-off. I went into our local bookstore and saw this huge display with a sign saying "Newly translated from the original French: 37 mating positions." Noticing that the books were already wrapped in plain brown paper, I just hadda buy one.
Once safely at home I opened it, out of sight of my wife, and found that I had just purchased an expensive book about Chess.
