Dirty Jokes — worst jokes

How do you know you're leading a sad life?
→ When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
→ So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Why do men masturbate?
→ It's sex with someone they love.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
→ Hold unto your nuts-This is no ordinary Blow Job!

What did Adam say to Eve?
→ Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
→ "I don't know why you're shaking...she's gonna EAT me!"

Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
→ They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
→ Your wife will always blow your bonus!

What are the two greatest lies?
→ "The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."

What's so bad about being a dick?
→ Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole, your master covers you in a plastic bag, And every time you get excited you spew.