Dirty Jokes — worst jokes

What did the blind blonde say as she was making love with her new boyfriend?
→ "Funny, you don't feel Jewish."

Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
→ So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Why do blondes always drink with straws?
→ Practice.

What's the ultimate embarrassment for a blonde?
→ When her ben-wa balls set off the airport metal detector.

Why did the blonde have a hysterectomy?
→ She wanted to stop having grandchildren.

Why did the blonde make love in the microwave?
→ She wanted to have a baby in 9 minutes.

What do you call 1,000 heavily armed lesbians?
→ Militia Etheridge

What did the leper say to the hooker?
→ Keep the tip.

Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his girlfriend. "Every time we make love," she said, "I get splinters."
So Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the carpenter, for advice.
"Sandpaper," said the carpenter. "That's what you need."
So Pinocchio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few weeks later the carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again. "How are you getting on with the girls now?" he asked.
"Who needs girls?" said Pinocchio.

A woman went to the doctor and complained that she was suffering from knee pains.
"Do you indulge in any activity that puts a lot of pressure on your knees?" asked the doctor.
"Every night, my husband and I have sex on the floor doggy style."
"I see," said the doctor. "You know, there are plenty of other sexual positions?"
"Not if you want to watch TV there ain't!"