Random joke from this category
Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6, are listening through the keyhole as their older sister is getting it on with her new boyfriend.
They hear her say:
- Oh, Jim, you're going where no man has gone before!
The six-year-old says to his brother:
- He must be fucking her up the ass!
A boat load filled with Viagra sank in Baltimore Harbor.
They could not get the draw bridges down for a week.
- Doctor, I need your help. My husband just doesn't satisfy me sexually. What can I do?
- Hmmm. That's a bit out of my league. Has HE seen a doctor?
- Yes, he has. He is perfectly OK. He just isn't enough for me. You've got to help me!
- Er... Why don't you take a lover?
- I have! I still don't get enough.
- Take another lover.
- I did. In fact, I have eight lovers, and I still don't get enough sex!
- Gosh, that's an anomaly.
- Oh, Doctor! Please tell them it's an anomaly! They all keep telling me I'm a whore!
A little girl asks her father:
- Where do little girls come from?
The father says:
- They come from a hard-on.
The little girl then asks her father:
- Where does a hard-on come from?
The father says:
- Little girls!
A young girl is speaking with her father.
- Daddy, what's that between your legs?
- That's my hedgehog.
- Wow, it's got a massive cock.
While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable to perform.
On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through a movie magazine.
Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. Looking down at this, he snarled:
- Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!
Old Chinese proverb: Rape impossible!
Woman with skirt up run faster than man with trousers down!
What is worse than a dead dog on your piano?
→ An infected pussy on your organ.
What's the definition of virginity?
→ A big issue over a little tissue.
Ok, I'm going to get a lot of hate mail for this one...
What's the definition of the perfect woman?
She's three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold in. The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.
