Christmas Jokes — worst jokes

When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "Bud."

Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.

Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.

Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.

Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"

Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
→ A pineapple!

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty?
→ Because a little water ends both of them!

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
→ Thanks, I'll never part with it!

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
→ They both drop their needles!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
→ Jungle Bells, Jungle bells..