Blonde Jokes — worst jokes

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde".

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

A blonde walks into an electronics store and points to something behind the clerk.

"How much is that television set?" she asks.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the clerk said.

So, the girl walks out. The next day, she returns wearing a brown wig. She again approaches the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?"

The clerk replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Again, the girl walks out.

She again tries the next day, this time wearing a red wig. She goes up to the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?" The clerk again replies, "We don't sell to blondes!"

Well, the girl was kind of suspicious.

She asks carefully, "How do you know I'm a blond?"

The clerk looks at the girl and says...

"Because that's not a television, it's a microwave!"

There was this blonde girl who had gotten fed up with blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair black.

So she did, and she was sooooo happy with it that she went to her car and drove around just to show off her new look. She was coming up to this intersection when she saw a shepeherd by the road waiting to cross with his flock of lambs. The girl stopped and waved him to pass.

While the flock was crossing the road, she asked the shepherd - "If I can guess how many sheep you got there, would you give me one?"

He thought about the offer for a minute and decided it was ok. The girl looked at the flock and exclaimed "487". The shepherd said "WOW! That's right...well...take any sheep you like...a deal's a deal." So she gets the animal and happily puts him in the back of her car, when the shepehrd says "WAIT!

Now I have a deal for you.... if I guess the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?"

What do you call a blonde behind a stearingwheel?
→ An airbag!

Did ya hear about the blonde lesbian?
→ She liked guys!

To cut off a blonde's ears, put razor blades on each shoulder and ask the blond a question.

Automatically the blonde will shake her head from shoulder to shoulder saying "I don't know."

How do you get a blond out of a tree?
→ Wave

How do you drown a blond?
→ Stick a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the toliet and tell her to sniff.

What is the diference between a blond and a mosquito?
→ A mosquito knows when to stop sucking.

When can you tell witch cars a blond's car?
→ The stick shift is wet.

What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
→ The more you bang it the looser it gets!

- We need to get these people to a hospital!

- What is it?

- It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now.

- Did you take the patient's temperature?

- No. Is it missing?