Blonde Jokes — worst jokes

What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
→ The trash gets taken out once a week!

- How come blonde girls have bruises around and in their bellybuttons?

- I don't know...

- Why?

- Because blonde boys are stupid as well!

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only).

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T." The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time. The man smiled "S-H-I-T." The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"

The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

Okay, so this blonde is driving by in his red sports car, and he sees another blonde rowing with oars in a cornfield.

Well, he is just absolutely furious and he gets out of the car and yells to the blonde in the cornfield: "Hey, if I knew how to swim, I'd go right out there and give you a piece of my mind!"

Ever hear about the blonde coyote who got a leg stuck in a trap - she chewed off three legs and was still stuck!

In Florida there was a swimming contest. The contestants were a brunette-Mindy, a redhead-Cindy, and a blonde-Sandy. The second race was the Breast Stroke...the order of finish was: The brunette came in first, the redhead second,... "but wait", where was the blonde??? She was still racing!

When she got to the finish line...she said "THEY CHEATED!!"

The Judge said "how??"

The dumb blonde screamed...

"THEY USED THEIR ARMS!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?
→ Oh! Look!! Doughnut seeds!!!

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?
→ Because it said "concentrate!"

This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says: "You White man, you will die at sundown, but Chief is not as evil as white man, so you gettum three wishes. What is your first wish?"

The cowboy looks around, thinks, then, with a gulp, says: "well, can i talk to my horse o' great chief?"

The Chief looks puzzled, laughs to his tribe and says "he-he, sure white man you can talk to your horse". So the cowboy goes to his horse and wispers in it's ear, the horse looks puzzled, but then with bright eyes it gallops off in a cloud of dust. The Indians just sit and laugh at the cowboy for wasting his wish. BUT, all of a sudden the horse returns with a Blonde riding upon its back. The indians look amazed. The chief grins, points to a secluded Teepee. The cowboy now looks embarrassed, so he takes the blonde and goes into the teepee. An hour later he comes out and says, "Chief, can i talk to my horse again?" The chief says sure, but that be wish number two. Ok says the cowboy.

The cowboys goes to the horse and once again wispers into it's ear, and with a gallop the horse is off!... 15 minutes later, the horse returns, this time having a Brunnette aboard. Once again the cowboy is shown the secluded teepee.

An hour later the cowboy comes out, obivously tired now, with only a few hours left before sundown. He looks to the chief, and before he says a word, the chief grins and says "Sure crazy white man you can talk to your horse.."

So the cowboy goes to the horse and GRABS him by the ear and yells "LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT,...

I SAID - GO GET A POSSE!!!"

One day a Blonde and a Brunette were driving through the country..

The Brunette noticed a woman over in a field of wheat rowing in a kayak.

The Blonde then noticed also and the Brunette asked her "Why is she in a boat out in a field of wheat? There is a lake right down the road!"

And the Blonde replied... "Want me to swim out and tell her?"