At Work — worst jokes

Whats the difference between your wife and your job?
→ After 10 years, the job still sucks.

Is it sexual harassment if you go to a woman and tell her her hair smells nice?
→ What if the man is a dwarf?

What do hookers do on their night off?
→ Type.

What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
→ One that never misses a period.

Two postmen are on break having a cigarette.

While on this break one postman says "Hey look at that snail". The other postman looks down and says "FUCK" and steps on the snail.

Postman 1 looks at him and says "Why'd you do that". Postman2 replys "Because that fucker has been following me all day."

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "OK, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?" "Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."

Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant?
→ Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car.

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?
→ He was already taking out a tooth

- I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?

- That's right, Sir.

- So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?

- That was my dentist.

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir," the new employee replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on.
"After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."