Animal Jokes — worst jokes

How do eels get around the seabed?
→ They go by octobus.

- So you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?

- Yes - their dog is our dog's brother.

How to Feed Elephants by P. Nutts

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked:

- Where did you get that?

The pig replied:

- I won her in a raffle!

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him:

- I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog.

- But how do you know when you are going to land? - he was asked.

- I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground - he answered.

- But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground? - he was again asked. He quickly answered:

- Oh, the dog's leash goes slack.

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

Why don't blind people skydive?
→ It scares the heck out of the dog.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
→ To prove he wasn't chicken.

What is a crowbar?
→ A place where crows go to get a drink!

Why do hens lay eggs?
→ If they dropped them, they'd break