Animal Jokes — worst jokes

What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party?
→ The cat ate her.

What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender?
→ Rhesus Pieces.

Why are gorillas so noisy?
→ They were raised in a zoo!

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree?
→ Because it was dead.

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
→ A gorilla with a machine gun.

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone who's a gorilla expert.

When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua and a pair of handcuffs. The man says:

- What are all of those for?

The animal control officer says:

- I'll climb up in the tree, knock the gorilla down, the dog will bite him in the nuts and you must slap the handcuffs on his wrists.

The man asks:

- What is the gun for?

The animal control officer responds:

- If I fall first, you shoot the dog!

What do you call a rich frog ?
→ A golf blooded reptile !

How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ?
→ They sit eggsaminations !

- I'd like a new frog, please.

- But you bought one only yesterday. What happened?

- It Kermit-ted suicide.

What do you call a frog with no hind legs?
→ Unhoppy!!