Animal Jokes — worst jokes

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
→ 'Let us prey.'

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan.
They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said:

- Okay, lets get out and get him.

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted:

- The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?

The guy in the front says:

- Well, I don't know how about you but I'm going to start nibbling grass.

Did you hear about the bear hunter?

Well, he was out hunting for bears one day, and soon came across a large, trophy sized bear. He raised his rifle and took careful aim. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, the bear turned and began to speak to him!

- Isn't it better to talk than to shoot? What do you want? Let's negotiate the matter - said the bear.

Lowering his rifle in shock, the hunter thought a second, and then replied:

- I want a fur coat.

What's the easiest way for a Gorilla hunter to make money?
→ Collect unemployment insurance!

The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said:

- I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were were unable to make service because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer.

One hunter groaned:

- Well, it worked. They're all safe.

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog?
→ A golden receiver!

What is the best way to hunt bear?
→ With your clothes off

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
→ "Quack! Quack! Quack!"

Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained:

- We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!

- OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp - said Bob.

Mike and Pat went hunting. Mike saw a large goose fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot.

- Don't waste your time - Pat hollered.

- The rifle is not loaded.

- I can't wait - Mike shouted back.

- The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!