Guest
Laloo At The Airport
Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him:
- Wait Please.
To which Laloo replied:
- 65 kgs, and moved on.
Worst jokes
- All
- Animal Jokes 3869
- April Fools Jokes 10
- At Work 856
- Aviation Jokes 339
- Bar Jokes 445
- Blonde Jokes 1226
- Business Jokes 842
- Camping Jokes 88
- Celebrities 657
- Christmas Jokes 343
- Clean Jokes 1299
- Comedian Jokes 85
- Computer Jokes 800
- Dirty Jokes 3278
- Doctor Jokes 989
- Drunks 538
- Dumb Jokes 1114
- Elderly Jokes 636
- Ethnic 982
- Farming Jokes 327
- Festival Jokes 300
- Food Jokes 1052
- Gender Jokes 298
- Golf Jokes 164
- Instrument Jokes 274
- Irish Jokes 242
- Kids Jokes 2024
- Language Jokes 1361
- Lawyer Jokes 565
- Marriage Jokes 1855
- Medicine 1113
- Men Jokes 959
- Military Jokes 384
- Mom/Dad Jokes 674
- Ouch 850
- Police Jokes 668
- Political Jokes 751
- Practical Jokes 33
- Red Indian Jokes 66
- Redneck Jokes 248
- Relationships 775
- Religion 1283
- School 906
- Science 461
- Sex Jokes 935
- Situations 1812
- Sport Jokes 602
- Stats/Math Jokes 214
- Travel Jokes 715
- War 134
- Women Jokes 1241
- Yo Mama Jokes 333
Guest
Complaint To The Stewardess
- Stewardess
- Yes, Sir?
- I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep.
- Captain, shut up and land the plane.
Pepsi-Cola Flight
A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
Guest
The Hijacker's Choice
A small twin-prop commuter plane was hijacked by a desperate animal rights extremist who vowed to kill one of the passengers to demonstrate his serious intentions.
There were two passengers present, a microbiologist and a yeast geneticist.
The hijacker gave each one two minutes to explain why they shouldn't be killed. The microbiologist (who studied bacteria) talked for 1 minute 59 seconds explaining that he studies bacteria, bacteria are model organisms for the study of genetics and physiology etc. etc. and finished with an emotional, bacteria-laden plea which had the hijacker in tears. When he was done, they turned to the yeast geneticist who said:
- let me explain to you why yeast genetics is an important discipline...
but he was interrupted by the microbiologist who exclaimed:
- Shoot me! Shoot me!
Niner Thousand Times
A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot, but she keeps denying it--until finally the husband just knew when his wife said:
- Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you niner thousand times, negative on the affair ...
Guest
Pilot's Intentions
- ATC: Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions?
- Cessna: To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating.
- ATC: I meant in the next five minutes not years.
Guest
Heavy Landing At Luton
On a flight with EasyJet back in 1997 the pilot made what can only be describes as an extremely heavy landing at Luton. It was very early in the morning and a number of passenger around me looked quite alarmed as, apart from the noise, a number of overhead lockers dropped open and several items of carry-on luggage were launched down the aisle.
After slowing up, the aircraft turned off the runway and turned towards the stand and over the PA came:
- Good morning ladies gentlemen, this is Captain Smith, welcome to Luton...and if any of you were asleep...
- I bet you're not now!
Guest
Holding Instructions
- Flight 1234, are you ready to copy holding instructions?
- Center, make that request on the next frequency....
Guest
Rock Your Wings
- Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your wings..
- OK TOWER, IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!
Guest
Boy Meets Pilot
- Little boy to airline pilot: You're a pilot?!?!? That must be exciting.
- Pilot: Not if I do it right.