Worst jokes

- Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance?

- Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.

Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened.

- I thought it was love at first sight - said Julie.

- It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.

- Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back.

- Will: Pity it's not on her head.

She's the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they can't believe it the first time.

Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn't pretty and wasn't ugly?
→ She was pretty ugly

- Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty?

- Gary: Well, let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink, oink'!

- Girlfriend: Will you love me when I'm old and fat and ugly?

- Boyfriend: Of course I do!

Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear.

- Johnny, how many times have I told you - said his mother, it's rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.

- OK - said Johnny, why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch?

A woman went to a sweet store to buy some sweets.
The boy behind the counter said:

- Gosh, your ugly aren't you?, I've never seen anyone so hideous as you before

- Young man - she replied. I didn't come here to be insulted

- Really - he said, Where do you usually go?

- My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian! - said Miss Conceited.

- Then he's right - said her little brother. Sophia Loren?

- No-spaghetti!