Worst jokes

Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the three men to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was that when each man had died, they'd cut the rope and he'd drop into the river and drift out of sight.

They put the first cowboy in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy he slipped out, fell in the river and swam to freedom.

They tied the noose around the second cowboy's head. He, too, oozed out of the rope, dropped into the river and got away.

As they dragged the third Texan to the scaffold, he resisted:

- Please! Would yaw'l tighten that noose a little bit? I can't swim!

Swint and Fess, two Oklahoma cowboys, were resting their horses out on the range.

- What'd Emmaline give yew for yore birthday? - asked Swint

- Pair of cufflinks - said Fess

- But I ain't got no use for them. I can't even find anyplace to get my wrists pierced.

Who do zombie cowboys fight?
→ Deadskins.

The swing doors of the Wild West saloon crashed open and in came Little Pete, black with fury.

- All right! - he raged

- all right! Who did it? What goldarned varmint painted my horse blue?

The huge figure of Black Jake, notorious gunfighter and town baddie rose from a chair by the door.

- It was me, shrimp - he drawled, bunching his gigantic fists

- what about it?

- Oh, well, er - stammered little Pete wretchedly

- all I wanted to say was. . .when are you going to give it another coat?

- Visitor: Wow, you have a lot of flies buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them?

- Cowboy: No we just let them go barefoot.

A police officer saw a man dressed as a cowboy in the street, complete with huge stetson hat, spurs, and six shooters.

- Excuse me, sir, who are you?

- My name's Tex, officer.

- Tex, eh? Are you from Texas?

- Nope, Louisiana.

- Louisiana? So why are you called Tex?

- Don't want to be called Louise, do I?

What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
→ Hoppalong Cassidy.

Who is in cowboy films and is always broke?
→ Skint Eastwood.

What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar?
→ Gimme a slug of whiskey.

Who do zombie cowboys fight?
→ Deadskins.