Worst jokes

Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?
→ Crumbs!

What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?
→ You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

- Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin?

- No more, mom. It's empty.

An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said, "I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest you check your scales." The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied, "Ma'am, I suggest you weigh your son."

- Boy: What's black, slimy, with hairy legs and eyes on stalks?

- Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin.

- I went to see my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking.

- What did he say?

- He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate.

- Did that do any good?

- No - I can't get the chocolate to light.

- Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now there's only one. Why?

- Fred: I don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other one.

- Say something soft and sweet to me.

- Dracula: Marshmallows, chocolate fudge cake...

What cheese is made backwards?
→ Edam.

- Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today.

- Cook: There is.

- Fred: No, there isn't. There's only cheese pie.

- Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it.