Worst jokes

What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter of a pound of ground beef?
→ A humburger.

Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun?
→ Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

- First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries - that's my girl.

- Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me.

- Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what fruit would it remind you of?

- Pupil: A pear.

What's red and green and wears boxing gloves?
→ A fruit punch.

A tourist walked into a fish and chip shop in Ireland. "I'll have fish and chips twice," he orders. "Sure, I heard you the first time," came the reply.

- My brother's on a seafood diet.

- Really?

- Yes, the more he sees food the more he eats.

What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg?
→ First it goes ping, then it goes pong.

At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boy's ear.

- There! - he said proudly.

- I bet your Mum can't produce eggs without hens, can she?

- Oh yes, she can - said the boy.

- She keeps ducks.

How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
→ She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.