Worst jokes

- Doctor: That deafness cure help your brother?

- Archie: Sure did! He hadn't heard a sound in years, and the very day after he took that medicine, he heard from America!

Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel?
Halfway across he decided he couldn't make it so he swam back.

What do Filipinos call Canada?
→ Upper U.S.

How do Filipinos count money?
→ One-a, two-a, three-a, four-a, another-a ...

Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team?
→ The players all drowned in spring training.

Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia.
As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them, they are going to invade Iran.

Carmella and Mario were out on their first date.

- Have you ever read Shakespeare? - asked Carmella.

- No - said Mario.

- Who wrote it?

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate?
→ By reading street signs.

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket?
→ Because the label said General Foods.

Then there was the Puerto Rican surgeon who made medical history. He performed the first appendix transplant.