Worst jokes

What do Psychologists say to each other when they meet?
→ "You're fine, how am I?"

How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?
→ "How many do you think it takes?"

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ One, but he must consult the DSM-IV.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ "Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ "How long have you been having this phantasy?"

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Just one, but it takes nine visits.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None. The light bulb will change itself when it's ready.

- Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bridge.

- What's come over you?

- Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.

- Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.

- Tell me about your problem.

- I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!