After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news:
- Honey, we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979.
- You mean a brand-new Cadillac? - she asked eagerly.
- No - said the husband - a 1979 Cadillac.
Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
→ He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.
What do you call counterfeited German currency?
→ Question marks.
Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat?
→ To see if there was any more money in the kitty!
- Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
- Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong.
- Ohhh, it's my girlfriend.
- What's the problem?
- When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education.
What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?
→ Money's tight these days!
How do thunderstorms invest their money?
→ In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets
What is the quickest way to double your money?
→ Fold it in half!
