- Fred: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla?
- Bert: No, what happened?
- Fred: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . .
- Bert: What did you do?
- Fred: Oh, I'd had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.
When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a suit does he order?
→ A zoo-t suit!
What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?
→ Stop playing it cagey!
A Scotsman paying his first visit to a zoo stopped by one of the cages
"An' whut animal would that be ?" he asked the keeper.
"Thats a moose from Canada", came the reply.
"A moose!!", exclaimed the Scotsman. "Hoots, mon, if that's a moose then they must ha' rats the size of elephants over there !"
- Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying to call the zoo for hours!
- Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy!
Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest. The nouns met again a week later and one of the nouns asked her friend, "I have one question.
Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"
Sauer and Tolbert went to the zoo and watched in awe as a lion let loose with a spine-tingling roar.
"Let's get out of here!" said Sauer.
"Go on, if'n you want to," said the other redneck. "But Ah'm stayin' for the whole movie!"
"Hey, Pop," pleaded Angelo, "can I go to the zoo to see the monkeys?"
"What's the matter with you?" asked his father.
"Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt Maud is here?"
My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said, "If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!"
A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.
Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..."
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.
