- Son, you sure do ask a lot of questions, - said the father.
- I'd like to know what would have happened if I'd asked as many questions when I was a boy.
- Perhaps, - said the boy:
- you'd've been able to answer some of mine.
- Honey, - said Mrs. Beldon to her husband:
- Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia.
- Encyclopedia, my eye! - exclaimed Beldon.
- Let him walk to school like I did.
Down at the office Bostwick boasted to one of his buddies:
- My son Arthur is smarter even than Abraham Lincoln.
- Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten years old. Lincoln didn't say it till he was fifty!
At dinner, Seth said to his father:
- Dad, I got into trouble at school today and it's all your fault.
- How's that? - asked the master of the house.
- Remember I asked you how much $500,000 was?
- Yeah, I remember.
- Well, 'a helluva lot' ain't the right answer.
- What are you reading? - demanded the father of his seven-year-old.
- A story about a cow jumping over the moon - was the reply.
- Throw that book away at once - he commanded.
- How many times have I told you you're too young to read science fiction?
An irate father stormed into the principal's office.
- I demand to know - he screamed.
- why my son Winslow was given a zero on his English examination.
- Now, don't get excited - said the principal.
- We'll get your Winslow's English teacher in here. I'm sure she has some explanation.
A few minutes later, the English teacher arrived.
- Why did you give Winslow a zero on his English final? - demanded the father.
- I had no choice - said the schoolmarm.
- He handed in a blank paper with absolutely nothing on it.
- That's no excuse - shouted the father.
- You could have at least given him an 'A' for neatness!
Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaw's classroom.
- Mr. Talbot - said the teacher.
- I asked James 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!
- Well, teacher - said Talbot.
- if my kid said he didn't do it he didn't do it!
Father and son left the school, and on their way home Talbot turned to the boy and asked:
- Tell me, son, did you do it?
- Son: What is an autobiography?
- Father: Er, the story of an automobile.
- Dad, why do you write so slow? - asked Dennis.
- I have to - replied his father.
- I'm a slow reader.
- Dad, do you believe in Buddha?
- Why, of course, but I think margarine is just as good.
