Worst jokes

This black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down and sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he'll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a Jewish genie, he say's to the nigger that he have two wishes. The black guy thinks for a couple of seconds, and quickly says:

- I want to be white and surrounded by cunt.

In an instant he is turned into a tampon.

Now the morale of this story is: Don't ever expect anything from a Jew without strings attached.

Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday in Australia.

His mate asked him what it was like.

- Australia's a great place! - Paddy replied.

- First they take you home and fill you so full of piss you can't stand up. Then, to top it off, they let you fuck their women whenever you want.

- Is that right? - said his mate very impressed.

- I always heard Australians were real pricks.

- Well - said Paddy.

- Only the white ones!

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting on a beach notice a mermaid sitting on a rock. The Englishman approaches her and says 'Have you ever been kissed?' No says the Mermaid. He kisses her and she likes it. After a while the Scotchman approaches her and says 'Have you ever been fondled?'. She says no and he fondles her, much to her delight. After another while the irishman approaches her and asks 'Have you ever been fucked?' She says no. 'Well you are fucked now because the tide's gone out.'

An Australian joke...

St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo's stroll up.

- Your names aren't on today's list... let me go and ask the Boss - he says.

In God's office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo's, and God tells Peter to go and tell them to fuck right off.

St Peter takes his leave. 5 minutes later St Peter runs back into the room and says:

- they're gone

God says:

- the Abo's? Good. - and St Peter replies...

- NO THE PEARLY GATES!!!.

How do Catholics separate the men from the boys?
→ With a crowbar.

Why do Jews wear yarmulkes?
→ Because the little propellers cost extra!

If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
→ A fur coat.

Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
→ Somebody dropped a shekel.

What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill himself by swallowing 100 pain killers?
→ After two he began to feel better.

A girl sat sobbing in the police station.

- I was raped by an Italian - she wailed.

- How do you know it was an Italian? - the detective asked.

- I had to help him - the girl replied.