Worst jokes

Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?
→ He wiped the chain and pulled himself.

Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?
→ It did $100 million worth of improvements.

Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?
→ It seats 500.

Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
→ He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says:

- Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?

What's the one thing you can do to a Jewish girl's asshole to make her squeal with delight?
→ Give him a raise.

What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
→ An Italian mother says:

- If you don't eat it, I'll kill you.

→ A Jewish mother says:

- If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself.

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?
→ They all gather around their cash registers and sing "What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."

Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library?
→ Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been coloured in yet.

What's long and hard that a Greek bride gets on her wedding night?
→ A new last name.

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar.

The bartender turned around and said:

- Is this some kind of a joke?