Worst jokes

British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Forest. BR think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.

The Nottingham Forest Chairman is considering replacing Big Ron with Steve Davis. Explaining this unusual move, he said "we don't just need points now, we need snookers!"

Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today.

- I'll do anything for 3 points - he said when questioned.

Apparently, Harry Redknapp offered to send the West Ham squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.

The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning.

- Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!

- The cups man! Save the cups!

- Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir.

How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
→ He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.

Digger Phelps' Words of Wisdom
From the NCAA Tournament:

- Basketball is a game of two halves.

- We have to remember that whoever scores the most points by the end wins.

- You're either a good team or a bad team, and they played somewhere in the middle.

- He's like all great players -- not great yet.

- You don't score 86 points without being able to shoot.

- Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

- Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.

- If the people don't want to come out to the park, nobody's gonna stop them.

- No wonder nobody comes here; it's too crowded.

- We made too many wrong mistakes.

- You can observe a lot by just watching.

- I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4. - Yogi Berra