Worst jokes

- Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?

- Dentist: $100.00.

- Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?

- Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.

- Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!

- Doctor: I am, bit by bit.

5. You never have to watch reruns on television.
6. You are always meeting new people.
7. You don't have to remember the whines and complaints of your spouse.
8. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
9. Mysteries are always interesting.

- Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?

- Doctor: Sell!

- Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

- Nurse: No change yet.

- Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?

- Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.

- Patient: What happened?

- Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

- Patient: Give me the bad news first.

- Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.

- Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?

- Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.

Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.

Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.

The farmer says:

- Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?

The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says:

- It's $1.00 per word.

The brunette thinks about this and says:

- Comfortable, write that.

- Comfortable? - the guy questions.

- Yes, you see she reads slow.

Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.

Gloria came to the door, and Alan said:

- I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?

Gloria said:

- I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath.

Alan asked:

- Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?

Gloria replied:

- No, just up to my waist.

Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
→ To avoid the draft.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
→ Because the can said "concentrate" on it.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
→ Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
→ Trying to hold on to a thought.

Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
→ They don't know the route.

Why do blondes work seven days a week?
→ So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

How does a blonde commit suicide?
→ She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

- Artery -- Study of paintings

- Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria

- Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails

- Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U

- Caesarean section -- District in Rome

- Cat scan -- Searching for kitty

- Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her

- Colic -- Sheep dog

- Coma -- A punctuation mark

- Congenital -- Friendly

- D&C -- Where Washington is

- Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events

- Dilate -- To live long

- Enema -- Not a friend

- Fester -- Quicker

- Fibula -- A small lie

- G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game

- Grippe -- Suitcase

- Hangnail -- Coathook

- Impotent -- Distinguished, well known

- Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee

- Labor pain -- Got hurt at work

- Medical staff -- Doctor's cane

- Morbid -- Higher offer

- Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate

- Node -- Was aware of

- Outpatient -- Person who had fainted

- Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis

- Post operative -- Letter carrier

- Protein -- Favoring young people

- Rectum -- It almost killed him

- Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery

- Rheumatic -- Amorous

- Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf

- Secretion -- Hiding anything

- Seizure -- Roman emperor

- Serology -- Study of knighthood

- Tablet -- Small table

- Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport

- Tibia -- Country in North Africa

- Tumor -- An extra pair

- Urine -- Opposite of you're out

- Varicose -- Located nearby

- Vein -- Conceited