A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.
A $40 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.
The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says:
- Got stuck, huh?
The truck driver says:
- No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
HEADLINE: A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club. Police are looking into it.
The Judge said to the defendant:
- I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again.
- Your Honor - the criminal said - that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen.
Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop.
One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment.
The first guy was charged with breaking and entering and the second with leaving the scene of an accident.
A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severely bleeding.
The officer asked:
- Can you describe the person who did this to you?
The Irishman replied:
- That's what I was doing when he hit me.
The 4 Basic Food Groups for Police Officers
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
- I've been waiting for you all day - the cop said.
The guy replied:
- Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied:
- I see millions and millions of stars.
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke:
- It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.
GO!!!!!
