Worst jokes

Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
→ Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
→ Divorcee.

What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
→ "Nice tits!"

How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
→ Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
→ Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.

Why do blondes have legs?
→ So they don't get stuck to the ground.
→ To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
→ So they don't leave trails, like little snails.

Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
→ It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a television.

One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game. As the first half went along, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball they would run it in for a touchdown.

Then came the second half...

First play: The elephant runs the ball up the middle. WAP!! Tackled for a five yard loss.

The little animals go back to the huddle cheering and congratulating each other.

- Who made that tackle? - asked the ant.

- I did - said the centipede.

Second play: The rhinoceros runs the ball up the middle. WHOMP!! Tackled for another five yard loss.

Back in the huddle the flea asked:

- Who made that great stop?

- I did - said the centipede.

Third play: The gorilla tries an end sweep, led by the hippo throwing the lead blocks. SMACK!! Centipede tackles him for a ten yard loss.

Back in the huddle, the gnat asked the centipede:

- Where were you in the first half?

The centipede replied:

- Puttin' on my shoes!

Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
→ Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
→ Frosted Flakes.