Worst jokes

- Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders?

- Harry: Help! What is it?

- Fred: Your head!

- I'm not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased!

- But that's the problem - you don't please anyone.

My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion.

Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.

The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him:

- Will it be alright if I have a bath while you're having your lunch?

- It's okay with me lady - said the plumber - as long as you don't splash my sandwiches.

- Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap?

- Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for medicine.

- Boy: Dad, dad, there's a spider in the bath.

- Dad: What's wrong with that? You've seen spiders before.

- Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!

Which villains steal soap from the bath?
→ Robber ducks.

How do vampire football players get the mud off?
→ They all get in the bat-tub.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Frozen Barbie on a Stick ...in your grocer's frozen food section

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
East German Swim Team Barbie ...a Barbie head on a Ken doll