Worst jokes

- Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes - said the gym teacher.

- Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy.

- I'm freewheeling, sir.

What is a ghost-proof bicycle?
→ One with no spooks in it.

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders.

- What's in the bags? - asked the guard.

- Sand - said the cyclist.

- Get them off - we'll take a look - said the guard.

The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.

Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.

A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown.

- Say friend, you sure had us crazy - said the guard.

- We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?

- Bicycles!

- Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed?

- Son: I couldn't find a spider.

What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
→ Run!

What do you call a python with a great bedside manner?
→ A snake charmer.

What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?
→ Sleep in the wardrobe.

Who stole the sheets from the bed?
→ Bed buglars.

- First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity?

- Second girl: No, it's imagination.

She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.