Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake?
→ Stop crying and viper your nose.

When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
→ When its spray pump is out of order!

- Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

- Evel Boll Weevil.

What does a witch get if she's a poor traveler?
→ Broom sick.

- Little boy to airline pilot: You're a pilot?!?!? That must be exciting.

- Pilot: Not if I do it right.

- Mother: Fred, why did you put a slug in your grandma's bed?

- Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake.

What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other.

Dear:

Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:

• ( ) the tooth could not be found
• ( ) it was not a human tooth
• ( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
• ( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor
• ( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
• ( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
• ( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
• ( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate action
• ( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy
• ( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
• ( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
• ( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit
• ( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit
• ( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing
• ( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
• [ ] string
• [ ] pliers
• [ ] gunpowder
• [ ] hammer marks
• [ ] chisel
• [ ] part of skull attached to tooth
• [ ] no dental care
• ( ) other:

Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.

Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy

- Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled... isn't she adorable?

- Friend: But your kid didn't smile.

- Father: I was talking about the nurse.

What did the baby skunk want to be when he grew up?
→ A big stinker!