Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
→ I don't know but it would slow him down.

Little Johnny is walking with his father in the park and they see two dogs locked in a sexual embrace. Little Johnny not understanding what the dogs are doing asks his father, "Daddy, what are those two dogs doing?" To which the father replies, "They are making a puppy!"

Later that night Johnny wakes up and walks down the hall to his parents bedroom and catches his mother and father making love. Johnny asks his father, "Daddy what are you and mommy doing?" To which the father replies, "Johnny we are making you a little sister." Johnny thinks for a few moments and responds, "Well, daddy could you roll her over? I'd rather have a puppy!"

Who robs banks and squirts ink?
→ Billy the Squid.

What is a chameleon's motto?
→ A change is as good as a rest!

Which big cat should you never play cards with?
→ A cheetah!

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
→ A stripey jumper!

A Chinese couple had a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy. "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?" The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong."

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
→ A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!

What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
→ Deja phew!

Why was the little bear so spoiled?
→ Because its mother panda'd to its every whim!