Random joke from this category
Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."
Mary arrived home from school covered in spots.
- Whatever's the matter? - asked her mother.
- I don't know - replied Mary.
- but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.
Did you hear about the two little boys who found themselves in a modern art gallery by mistake?
→ 'Quick,' said one, 'run! Before they say we did it!'
- William, I've been told that you have been fighting with the boys next door - said mum.
- Yes, but they're twins, so I wanted some way to tell them apart.
Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.
- First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse - she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.
- O.K., now take off my skirt - and he takes off her skirt.
- Now take off my bra - which he does.
- And now, Johnny, please take off my panties.
Johnny finishes removing these too.
His mother then says:
- Johnny, please don't wear any of my clothes to school anymore!
Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt.
I feel with my hands Miss !
Two boys camping out in a backyard wanted to know the time, so they began singing at the top of their voices.
Eventually one of the neighbours threw open his window and shouted down at them:
- Hey, less noise! Don't you know it's three o'clock in the morning!
Mandy was applying for a summer job.
- How old are you? - asked the owner of the store.
- I'm twelve years old, Sir - answered Mandy.
- And what do you expect to be when you grow up?
- Twenty one, Sir.
- Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
- Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the childs level, the man smiles benevolently and asks:
- And now what, my little man?
The boy replies:
- Now we run!
