Random joke from this category
A silly boy spent the afternoon with some friends, but when the time came for him to leave, a terrific storm started with thunder, lightning and torrential rain.
'You can't go home in this,' said one of his friends, 'you'd better stay the night.'
'That's very kind of you,' said the boy. 'I'll just run home and get my pyjamas.'
Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."
A little kid is sitting on a park bench eating a bag of chocolates. An old man walking by stops to say that if he continues to eat like that he won't live very long; indignantly the kid says, "Oh yeah, my grandfather lived to be 104 years old."
The old man replies, "I'm sure he did, kid, but it wasn't from eating all that chocolate."
"Oh no sir," says the kid, "it was by minding his own business!"
- Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
- Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt.
I feel with my hands Miss !
Mandy was applying for a summer job.
'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store.
'I'm twelve years old, Sir,' answered Mandy.
'And what do you expect to be when you grow up?'
'Twenty one, Sir.'
Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.
"First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse", she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.
"O.K., now take off my skirt", and he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my bra", which he does.
"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties". Johnny finishes removing these too.
His mother then says, "Johnny, please don't wear any of my clothes to school anymore!"
- What's the matter, son?
- The boy next door said I look just like you.
- What did you say?
- Nothing, he's bigger than me!
- Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak.
- Grandma: No, I don't think so. Why?
- Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do.
'William, I've been told that you have been fighting with the boys next door,' said mum.
'Yes, but they're twins, so I wanted some way to tell them apart.'
