Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak.

- Grandma: No, I don't think so. Why?

- Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do.

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said:

- Well, you know the Pacific Ocean? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.

Bill wasn't impressed:

- Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea? My father's the one who killed it!

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night.

- What's wrong? - asked his mother.

- Do people really come from dust, like they said in church? - he sobbed.

- In a way they do - said his mother.

- And when they die do they turn back to dust?

- Yes, they do.

The little boy began to cry again:

- Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going!

- What's the matter, son?

- The boy next door said I look just like you.

- What did you say?

- Nothing, he's bigger than me!

What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
→ Forty feet of track - all straight!

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp:

- Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks:

- Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?

She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees,

leans forward and says in a quiet voice:

- I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.

A man out for a walk came across a little boy pulling his cat's tail.

- Hey you! - he shouted.

- don't pull the cat's tail!

- I'm not pulling! - replied the little boy.

- I'm only holding on - the cat's pulling!

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between pages.

- Mommy, look what I found - the boy called out.

- What have you got there, dear? - his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered:

- It's Adam's clothes!!!!!

- Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report.

- Son: Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject!

The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature.

- How high is it, Doctor? - she wanted to know.

- One hundred and three - said the doctor.

- What is the world record?