Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted?

- Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said:

- I bet I know what it is - flowers!

- That's right! - said the boy:

- but how did you know?

- Just a wild guess - she said.

The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said:

- I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!

- That's right! But how did you know? - asked the girl.

- Just a lucky guess - said the teacher.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. - Is it wine? - she asked.

- No - the boy replied.

The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. - Is it champagne? - she asked.

- No - the boy replied.

The teacher then said:

- I give up, what is it?

The boy replied:

- A puppy!

- Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left?

- Girl: One - the dead one!

Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps?
→ Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?
→ A stupid Cupid!

- Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners.

- Son: But, Mum, I don't want three school dinners, one is more than enough!

Eddie's father called up to him:

- Eddie, if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think I'll go crazy!

Eddy replied:

- I think you are already, I stopped playing half an hour ago.

As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball.

- Is this yours? - he asked.

- Did it do any damage? - asked one of the boys.

- No - replied the minister.

- Then it's mine!

A father is asked by his friend:

- Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?

- Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector - he replies

To this his friend responds:

- Strange ambition to have for a career.

- Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!

- Mum: Jackie, go outside and play with your whistle. Your father can't read his paper.

- Jackie: Wow, I'm only eight and I can read it