Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

If a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing his hair.

If this doesn't work, use the other side of the brush on the other end of the child.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bethany

- Bethany who?

- Bethany good movies recently!

- Trevor: That's a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green.

- Jill: Yes, and I have another pair just like it at home.

- Monster: Stick 'em down.

- Ghost: Don't you mean, stick 'em up.

- Monster: No wonder I'm not making much money in this business.

'Mum, there's a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk's Home. Shall I give him Grandma?'

All children who entered the world in the 1980s and later were born with a special mutated gene that enables them to know which buttons to push on electronic gadgets.

Son to his father as they watch television:

"Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you had to walk all the way across the room to change the channel."

- Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?

- Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

My husband has always taken the time to make love to me in a very romantic atmosphere.

In fact, all our kids were conceived during Miller Lite commercials.

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says, "No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"