Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.

He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away.

He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."

- Jennifer: Are you coming to my party?

- Sandra: No, I ain't.

- Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain't. It's I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming.

- Sandra: Blimey, ain't nobody coming?

'You boy!' called a policeman. 'Can you help? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters......'

'Really?' said the boy. 'What're his ears called?'

What game did the dentist play when she was a child?
→ Caps and robbers

- Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left?

- Girl: One - the dead one!

How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
→ One. After that the basket won't be empty.

As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball.

"Is this yours?" he asked.

"Did it do any damage?" asked one of the boys.

"No," replied the minister.

"Then it's mine!"

On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good impressions on each other.

'I come from a one-parent family,' said one little girl proudly.

'That's nothing. Both my parents remarried after they got divorced. I come from a four parent family!'

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.

"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him!"

- Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners.

- Son: But, Mum, I don't want three school dinners, one is more than enough!