Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
→ All you can eat, under a buck.

- Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again?

- That's funny, Mom. I can't remember either.

Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.

How was the hamburger murdered?
→ First it was 'rolled,' then smothered in onions

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...

• Broiled Missionary: $25.00
• Fried Explorer: $35.00
• Baked Politician: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the politician?"

The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?"

What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink?
→ Gravi-tea!

"And what's your name?" the secretary asked the next new boy.

"Butter."

"I hope your first name's not Roland," smirked the secretary.

"No, ma'am. It's Brendan."

What are the four food groups?

For bachelors: Fast, Frozen, Junk and Spoiled.
For drinkers: Malt, Hops, Barley and Yeast.
For heavies: Caffeine, Fat, Sugar, Chocolate.

What great song is associated with hamburgers and baseball?
→ 'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I can't figure out how to get started."

Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?"

"From the picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the blonde.

The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box."

"Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde.

"Because, you didn't buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes."