Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie?
→ Puff pastry!

The top 10 least desirable fortunes in a fortune cookie:

• We know where you live.
• You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.
• Everyone's meal today is on you!
• The "special sauce" came from the floor!
• Guess what our special "drop" was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!!
• Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.
• A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time.
• Your dog Sparky...he's no longer missing.
• See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.
• MSG? NO!!
• Ebola Virus....maybe

Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the woods?
→ One was "a-salted."

What famous movie did the hamburger meat think of when they took it out of the freezer?
→ They Fry Who Cam in from the Cold!

That boy is so dirty, the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon.

- Say something soft and sweet to me.

- Dracula: Marshmallows, chocolate fudge cake...

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?
→ A hot dog and a six pack.

What's the best thing to put into a pizza?
→ Your teeth.

A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.

- Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today.

- Cook: There is.

- Fred: No, there isn't. There's only cheese pie.

- Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it.