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Stranded on Deserted Islands

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:

- 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

- 2 French men and 1 French woman

- 2 German men and 1 German woman

- 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

- 2 English men and 1 English woman

- 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman

- 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman

- 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman

- 2 American men and 1 American woman

- 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred ...

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman endlessly complains about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfillment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her arse look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.
The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and setup a distillery. They don't remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

No Children Yet

Mother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now.

Daughter: I just don't know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it's just that I have a lot of trouble swallowing.

Map Of Texas

A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a costume. Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor.

- What the hell happened? - asked a friend who had witnessed the entire event.

- I'm not really sure - the man replied, rubbing his red cheek - When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it.

Cow Pasture Ride

These two women went out for a night on the town and got just totally sloshed. At the end of the evening they decided to take a short cut through a cow pasture after being unable to find a ride home. They became lost so split up to try and find the road home. One of the lushes doubled back only to stumble on the other flat on her back sucking on, and playing with a cow's udders. Her friend screamed "what are you doing"? the other lush says "shut up, with all these guys here someone'll drive us home".

How Long

This blond teenage dragged her boyfriend to the court on paternity issue.

The lawyer asked:

- How long are you having a sexual relationship?

- Years, I tell you years - she replied.

- That's no answer, you have to specify how long has he intimated with you.

- I don't know exactly, it's average, about six inches.

World Leaders' Wives

At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries.

The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.

The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.

The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act.

With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth...

Meteorologist in a Snowstorm

What do a meteorologist in a snowstormand a woman's sex life have in common?

They're both concerned with how manyinches and how long it will last.

Buying A Horse

This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend:

- I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I'm sending him over.

The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse.

- A female horth, - the midget replies.

So the owner shows him one.

- Nith looking horth, can I see thea her mouth?

So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth.

- Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?

So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes.

- Ok, what about the earsth?

Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows the ears.

- OK, finally, I'd like to see her twat, - said the midget.

With that, the owner picked up the midget and shoved his head up the horse's twat, then pulled him out.

Shaking his head, the midget says:

- perhapth I should rephrase.

- I'd like to see her run!

Hungry Businessmen

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.

She yells:

- What the hell do you guys think you are doing?

One of the Japanese men explains:

- Can't you see? We are all berry hungry.

The waitress begs the question:

- So, how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation?

One of the other Japanese men replies:

- The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!