Random joke from this category
Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy. One fag turned to the other and said:
- See that stud there, Bruce?
- Sure.
- Well, let me tell you, he's a tremendous fuck!
- No shit? - Bruce asked.
- Well, hardly any.
There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane.
At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets.
When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said:
- I'm sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not your stub.
How is a woman like a condom?
→ Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
A man and a woman are on an elevator at the top of the world's tallest building, when all of a sudden, the cable snaps and the elevator starts plummeting to the ground. The emergency brakes don't work, the emergency phone doesn't work, and they both begin to panic.
The woman screams:
- We're going to die! - rips off all her clothes, throws herself on the floor and says to the man:
- make me feel like a woman again!
So, he pulls off his jacket, throws it on the floor, and says:
- pick that up, bitch.
Two fags are on a picnic, and the first guy says, "I have to take a dumpski," and he walks into the woods to do it. Several minutes later, the other guy hears the first guy crying, "Boo Hoo, I Had A Miscarriage. I Had A Miscarriage." He runs into the woods to see what is going on. When he gets there, the first guy is still crying, "Boo-Hoo I Had A Miscarriage..." He looks down and says, "Don't be silly. You didn't have a miscarraige. You had diarrhea on a toad."
What's the purpose of a bellybutton?
→ To put your gum in on the way down.
Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders. He says "When did you start wearing them?" To which the other man replies "Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car."
A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a big night ashore. As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted:
- Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting on me!
The following morning the captain was checking the log and saw that the young seaman had been sentenced to ten days and asked the chief mate why.
- Well Sir, when we got you undressed we found that he'd also shit in your pants.
The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous redhaired beauty.
- I would suggest to you, young lady - began the medic, as he regained some of his professional dignity - that you discontinue some of your running around.
- Stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and above all you will have to start eating properly and getting to bed early.
Then, as a pleasant afterthought, he added:
- Why not have dinner with me tonight? I'll see to it that you have the proper food and that you'll be in bed by 9:00!
There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam.
It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited.
- Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there? - asked George.
- George, relax. Here is how it works. We'll wait until they're lined up at the feed trough so we can have our way with the ladies in a nice orderly fashion. - said Sam.
- Okay, I can do that. - George answered.
Well, feeding time came and all the heifers were lined up just like Sam said and George was all excited to go down there, but Sam had a few more instructions.
- Now George, here is how this is gonna work. I'll start at one end and you can start at the other. We'll meet in the middle - said Sam.
- OK, OK, let's go! - said George.
- Hang on George!. One more important thing to remember. These gals will let us have our way but you have to show some respect and be polite. OK? - said Sam.
- Sure - says George.
Well, they go on down to the heifers all lined up. George starts at one end and Sam at the other. George is pretty excited, but he remember's Sam's instructions about being polite, so as he is going along he makes sure to say:
- Thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, sorry Sam, thank you ma'am.
