Random joke from this category
The Yuppette had risen to executive level in the company in no time at all. Hearing rumors about her, the husband confronted his wife and accused her of sleeping with all of the top level managers.
- Now that's entirely false. - she cried.
- I took the easy route and slept with anyone who mattered at least twice.
The old man was saying to his doctor, "You know, Doc, when I was young, it was as hard as a rock. As I got a little older, I could bend it a little and now I can bend it alot. Does that mean I'm getting stronger?"
How do you know a blond has been using your computer?
→ When the joy stick is wet!
A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided. You will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year.". The young man said, "You're bullshitting me, man!" The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"
What is a man's best friend?
→ His dick because it always sitcks up for him.
Why don't women wear dresses in the winter?
→ Chapped lips.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
→ Slow down and use a lubricant.
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
→ Money.
What's the difference between your wife and your job?
→ After five years your job will still suck.
How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
→ It's not hard.
Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
→ The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
→ She is the one who can eat the last donut!
What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
→ One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year!
Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
→ Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
There were two people having sex in a car. They finished up and the guy threw the condom out the window. His girlfriend got mad at him, she wanted to go again. So he got out of the car and went to find the condom. He found that a little boy had found it and when he asked for it back the boy refused.
- C'mon - he begged:
- I'll give u a dollar.
- Well - the little boy thought:
- Okay.
So the little boy ran home.
- Mom, you'll never guess what just happened! I sold this guy a twinky for a dollar, but I tricked him. I sucked the cream out of it first!
What do you call a gay bar that has no chairs?
→ A fruit stand.
How is a man like a snow fall?
→ You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
