Clean Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
→ A duck filled fatty puss!

What kind of cat should you take into the desert?
→ A first aid kitty!

Why do cats chase birds?
→ For a lark!

What do cats read in the morning?
→ Mewspapers!

What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws?
→ An acrocat!

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
→ Puss in boots!

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?
→ Because she heard fowl language!

There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left?
→ None. They were all copy cats!

What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
→ She gave him the cold shoulder!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
→ Ice caps!

What's an ig?
→ An eskimo's home without a loo!

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
→ Icebergers!

Where do snowmen go to dance?
→ Snowballs!

How do snowmen travel around?
→ By iceicle!

What sort of ball doesn't bounce?
→ A snowball!

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
→ You wake up wet!

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?
→ Frost bite!

How do you call an Eskimo cow?
→ An Eskimoo!

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
→ A stripey sweater!

How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
→ She's got that down in the mouth look!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?
→ A peeping tom!

Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite at Christmas?
→ Because he has sandy claws!

How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
→ 'Pleased to eat you.'!

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
→ Frostbite!

What is a French cat's favorite pudding?
→ Chocolate mousse!

What do parrots eat?
→ Polyfilla!

What do you give a sick bird?
→ Tweetment!

What bird tastes just like butter?
→ A stork!

What's another name for a clever duck?
→ A wise quacker!

Which bird is always out of breath?
→ A puffin!

What's got six legs and can fly long distances?
→ Three swallows!

What is a duck's favorite TV show?
→ The feather forecast!

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
→ A bird that will talk you ear off!

What do you call a crate of ducks?
→ A box of quackers!

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
→ He felt funny!

What's striped and bouncy?
→ A tiger on a pogo stick!

What is the cat's favorite TV show?
→ The evening mews!

How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?
→ Smack a lion!

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
→ Hailing taxi cabs!

How is cat food sold?
→ Usually purr can!

What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
→ A tiger moth!

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
→ 'Let us prey.'

What is the most breathless thing on television?
→ The Pink Panter Show!

What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
→ A terrified postman!

When is a lion not a lion?
→ When he turns into his cage!

What do cat actors say on stage?
→ Tabby or not tabby!

What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
→ I'm paw!

What do you call a lioin who has eaten your mother's sister?
→ An aunt-eater!

What do tigers wear in bed?
→ Stripey pyjamas!

Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
→ Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!

How is a cat laying down like a coin?
→ Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!

Why are cars longer in the evening than they are in the morning?
→ Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning!

What cat purrs more than any other?
→ Purrsians!

How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters?
→ C-A-T!

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
→ There was some money in the kitty!

What does a cat call a bowl of mice?
→ A purrfect meal!

Why did the cat sleep under the car?
→ Because she wanted to wake up oily!

What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?
→ He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!

What is another way to describe a cat?
→ A heat seeking missile!

What is a spiders favorite TV show?
→ The newly web game!

What is a ghost-proof bicycle?
→ One with no spooks in it.

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
→ Because he was newt to the area!