Clean Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do?

- Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll be sure to drop off!

- Monster: I'm so ugly.

- Ghost: It's not that bad!

- Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.

What is the first thing that vampires learn at school?
→ The alphabat.

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?
→ Time to get a new watchdog.

What asks no question but demands an answer?
→ A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

Where does a vampire take a bath?
→ In the bat-room (bathroom).

Why do parrots carry umbrellas?
→ So they don't become polly-saturated!

What do you get when a duck and a cow cross the road?
→ Milk and Quackers

Why did the Turtle cross the road?
→ To get to the shell station.

Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?
→ He could really get into the vaultz.