Clean Jokes — most viewed jokes

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
→ 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'

How does a vampire get through life with only one fang?
→ He has to grin and bare it.

What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot with a vampire?
→ It bit his neck, sucked his blood and said, "Who's a pretty boy then?"

Where would you take a ghost for lunch?
→ Pizza Haunt!

What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
→ "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?
→ Bike carbonate of soda!

What is the easiest way to make a banana split?
→ Cut it in half.

What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
→ They're hiring.

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
→ "Dam."

How do crazy people go through the forest?
→ They take the psycho path.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the toilet too long?
→ Polaroids.

What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
→ National Dyslexia Association.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
→ Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
→ Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
→ Quattro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
→ Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
→ Frostbite.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
→ A nervous wreck.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
→ Anyone can roast beef.

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
→ They all have phones.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
→ Sanka.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
→ Because they have big fingers.

What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
→ A dog that runs for help ... after it bites your leg off.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
→ A stick.

Did you know that Dracula wants to become a comedian?
→ He's looking for a crypt writer.

Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes?
→ They looked both ways before they crossed.