Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
→ She was run over by the zambonis machine.

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station.

While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself. She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is doing. Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying...

"A little more to the left...a little more to the right"

Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
→ They're doing research on black holes.

Did you hear about the blonde that got pregnant for the second time?
→ She asked her husband if they needed to get married again.

Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

What did the blonde's dentist find?
→ Teeth in the cavity.

A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.

"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.

What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
→ She can't say "No".

On her way home a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".

By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"