Medicine — best jokes

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth.

The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"

The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious ... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."

"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."

"Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that ... there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

What do you call an old dentist?
→ A bit long in the tooth

"Pardon me for a moment, please," said the dentist to the victim, "but before beginning this work I must have my drill."
"Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably.
"Can't you pull a tooth without a rehearsal?"

- Papa, why is it that dentists call their offices dental parlors?

- Because they are drawing-rooms, my son.

- Patient: Do you extract teeth painlessly?

- Dentist: Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my wrist

believe that the members of the dental profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her mouth and get away with it.

- Gerald: Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?

- Mabel: Yes, the dentist.

A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth.
The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD?
→ Having your dentist tell you.

- Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?

- Dentist: With pain $200 and without pain $100.

- Patient: Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain.

Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

Hey, WITH pain it costs $200!!!, replies the dentist.