Dirty Jokes — best jokes

What are three words you dread the most while making love?
→ "Honey, I'm home."

What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
→ $3.99 a minute.

What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
→ Sexual harassment.

Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
→ He heard the snow blower coming.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
→ "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

Why is air a lot like sex?
→ Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Young Charlie to dentist's sexy chariside assistant "Aha! Are you the lady orthodontist?".
The lady replied "No, but I'll straighten anyone's teeth"

Tad answered the Tennessee State frat house phone.

"Hi," said the voice, "this is Rollie. Come on over, we're having a real wildass party."

"Shit, Ah'd shore love to," said Tad, "but Ah got me a bad case of gonorrhea."

"Bring it along!" answered Rollie. "The way thangs is goin', mah buddies'll drink anythin'!"

A survey was being taken on the University of Arizona campus.

The survey taker asked a soccer player, "What do you think of bilingualism?"

"Oh, I think it's okay," said the boy, "if it's between consenting adults."

Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus.

One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, "I hear there's a new case of herpes in the dorm."

"Great!" said Baldwin. "I was getting tired of 7-Up!"