Dirty Jokes — best jokes

What did Adam say to Eve?
→ Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
→ "I don't know why you're shaking...she's gonna EAT me!"

Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
→ They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
→ Your wife will always blow your bonus!

What are the two greatest lies?
→ "The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."

What's so bad about being a dick?
→ Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole, your master covers you in a plastic bag, And every time you get excited you spew.

What's long, hard, and has semen in it?
→ A submarine!

What's organic dental floss?
→ Pubic hair!

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
→ Burger King didn't cover his Whopper.

What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards?
→ He keeps coming and coming and coming...